He is my Dad. Plain and Simple.

Today, I took my Dad to the doctor. 

An Oncologist.

He wasn't worried and neither was I.  We both know that God is in control and "He's got this".

My father is 83 years old.  He has difficulty walking and can't walk for more than a couple of minutes before the pain is too great and he needs to stop.  There were no wheel chairs available for him at the VA hospital, so I was his support.  He wrapped his arm around me and mine was wrapped around him. 

He wanted me to join him while talking with the doctor and I was able to ensure that he understood the complicated information about his treatment options.  We exchanged a smile as we learned he would not need chemotherapy.  While leaving the doctor's office he stopped in the door way, put his arm around me and turned to the doctor.  I thought he had one last question, but he didn't.  He wanted to remind the doctor that I was his daughter and he bragged about my working towards my black belt.  I looked up at him, feeling like a charmed child, and choked back a tear while he spoke.  My Dad is proud of me.  Not just for this, but for many things.  He tells me so and his words are precious.

While walking back to the car, we needed to stop many times.   For a while, I walked in front of him as he used my shoulders to lean on.  We joked that I am nearly as short as his walker that he forgot at home.  His laughter made him have to stop, but not from the pain. 

Afterwards, we enjoyed a late breakfast at Cracker Barrel.  We took a few moments outside among the stream of rocking chairs.  We sat in silence, but much was said.  I love him and he loves me.  I wanted to get a picture of us together and I think this speaks for itself....

When we arrived back to his house and I was preparing to leave to return home, he got up from his comfortable chair and walked over to me.  I knew that wasn't easy for him.  He hugged me tightly and I knew how much he appreciated my time I gave to him today.

My father is 83.  I don't know how many more times I will get to take care of him again like today.  I'm hoping hundreds more!  I'm praying I get to bake him his favorite chocolate cake or apple pie for his birthday next month and many more to come.  I'm hoping he gets to see me at my black belt test in another year or two.  I'm looking forward to him seeing my son graduate high school in 5 years.  The grip I have on hope is tight and I trust in the Lord for all of His blessings.

But, here is the thing.  He is not my biological father.  My biological father has not been in my life for over 11 years.  This is Will.  Some would refer to him as my step-father.  Our relationship has been to hell and back.  None of that matters.  We have moved past that.  

He loves me and I love him. 

He has helped me through some of the worst times of my life and he has been there for me for all the best....like when he proudly walked me down the aisle at my wedding when my bio-father refused to come.  

And, when my son was born, he was there to celebrate with us when my bio-father wasn't interested.

He is my Dad.  Plain and simple.

I love him and he loves me.  

He is my Dad and I am his daughter.

A Song in My Heart ~ "Savior I Come"

I love music.  It fills my heart and soul.  It stirs in me deep emotions.  I can rarely listen to worship music without an "emotional reaction".  You know what I'm talking about....

Tears

Tears of sadness, tears of joy, tears of gratitude, and tears of simple awe of my Savior.  So, as I hear different songs that have special meaning to me, I am going to share about them here.  Then, you too can be blessed in your day.

Lord, don't ever let me forget from where You have brought me.  Humble me to my knees and rid me of the selfish flesh that can burden me.  I belong to You and I ask that You mold me into the daughter You desire for me to be.  Lead me to the cross daily and on the days when my weakness is too great, I pray that you will then carry me.  Amen.

"Savior I Come" ~ by Hillsong United

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
Te word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart 

Unique Ways to Teach Your Kidlet O'Energy

Homeschooling a child with unique needs is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle while the pieces keep changing. For a child with Tourette Syndrome, each day can be a different puzzle all together. Tourette Syndrome is a neurological movement disorder characterized by involuntary motor and vocal tics. What I’m about to share with you are a few unique techniques to teaching your energetic child or kinesthetic learner. Please, hold your “aha’s” until the end.

Let me introduce you to my son, Matthew. He has Tourette Syndrome (TS) and Obsessive Compulsive tendencies. He is also hearing impaired. Matthew is twelve years old and this is our fifth year homeschooling. Here is a scenario of what a day was like for Matthew when he was in school:

Tap foot, spin pencil on desk, write answer to question four, bark like a dog

“Matthew, be quiet. This is a test.”

Cough, scrunch face, lick lips, tap foot, spin pencil on desk, write answer to question five, get up to sharpen pencil.

“Matthew, don’t get out of your seat without permission.”

Cough, scrunch face, lick lips, tap foot, spin pencil on desk, write answer to question six, bark like a dog, scrunch up scrap paper, get up to throw away paper.

“Matthew, don’t get out of your seat without permission. If you do it again you’ll get detention.”

Spin around twice, sit down, cough, scrunch face, lick lips, tap foot, spin pencil on desk, write answer to question seven, bark like a dog, get up to sharpen pencil.

“That’s it Matthew. You have detention. Go to the Principal’s office.”

 Uh-Oh....This is Matthew's "not happy face"

What happened? Matthew was ticking so badly that he couldn’t even work at a steady pace. His OCD was the final culprit that got him a ticket to detention. His compulsive need to have a perfectly sharpened pencil and his aversion to having any garbage (the crumpled paper) near him was too strong to resist. My suggestion to the teacher to allow him to use a mechanical pencil and keep a trash can next to his desk was not welcome. So, homeschool, here we come.

When we started home school it was apparent that the creative juices needed to be turned to high flow! When Matthew was younger I could barely keep up with his changing tics. My son was not capable of sitting still in a chair for more than a few minutes. Even though we did a lot of hands-on learning, there were some parts of the day where he needed to be able to sit at the table. Aha! That therapeutic ball in the corner collecting dust was about to get a real workout. It was our new best friend.

Matthew would sit on that ball while working at the table and instantly his concentration improved. Sure, he was lightly bouncing, rotating in small circles and shifting his hips forwards and backwards, but, the energy from his tics was being focused directly into that therapeutic ball which allowed his hands to be free to do his seat work. The ball provided the vestibular stimulation his body craved and allowed him to dispel his tics without interrupting his work. And, of course, there was a pencil sharpener and trash can right next to him. Take that, Kindergarten Teacher!

The therapeutic ball worked wonders, but its magical powers wouldn’t last forever. We had other subjects to conquer that didn’t require sitting at the table. So, picture this…Matthew is spinning in circles, doing headstands on the couch, running across the room, and jerking his head so sharply that I think it might just snap off. I can’t even track him in the room, never mind when he darts down the hall. Hmmm, how to contain him without the use of duct tape? Think, brain, think.  It looks like my mini trampoline is going to become our *next* new best friend.

Matthew jumped on the trampoline while spelling his words, reciting his vocabulary definitions, and drilling his math fact tables. The kinesthetic activity was the perfect complement to his energetic tics. It was small enough to fit in the middle of the living room when in use and then slide behind the rocking chair to store it. It sure tuckered him out after about an hour, too! Amen, it’s time to take a nap.

We were on a roll! I felt like we had tackled two of our biggest obstacles; being able to sit for longer than a minute and avoiding pinball syndrome around the house. Yay, team! Hurdles related to Matthew’s uniqueness started to feel more like mini speed bumps. On days when Matthew’s tics were so bad they prevented him from writing, we would play our “baseball game” instead. We set up the living room like a baseball diamond. I would toss him a ball from the “pitcher’s mound” while asking him a question. If he answered correctly, he could move to the next “base”.  He loved to slide into home plate, especially because it earned him bonus credits.

I hope these few tips will help you to realize that schooling your “kidlet o’ energy” can be fun and rewarding. Matthew has grown so much in his own ability to control his tics since those first years and does not need some of these special accommodations any more. You’ll still find us sneaking in a game of “baseball” or taking a hop on the ball though. After all, it’s fun! I believe that Matthew is the confident learner that he is today because of the unique approach we took to his lessons when he needed it the most. Above all, I believe we have equipped Matthew to think outside the box, so when he is faced with the ever changing aspects of his special needs he won’t back down. He may not face them head on though. He may sneak around the back and pounce on it from his trampoline.

What new and exciting activity or tool will you bring into your home school this week? Make learning come alive for your child! Have fun and create learning memories that will impact him for a lifetime. I hope you’ll share your ideas and experiences here with me. I’m looking forward to learning from you!

Check out my original posting of this article and lots of other interesting articles by talented writers at the Home Educating Family Blog.

Christmas Eve Check List......

It's Christmas Eve!  Let's break out the traditional Gadow Ohana check list!  Check, check, check....

1.  Attend the candle light service at my church surrounded by my church family and friends who we love so much!  Let's listen to the children sing "Away in a Manger" while signing and then read from the Bible about the Christmas story.

2.  Be unbelievably proud as I watch my son play the guitar with the worship band.  He played "The First Noel" and "Silent Night".

3.  Bake some yummy chocolate chip cookies!  They must be fresh out of the oven to be deserving of the Santa offering.  Yes, chocolate chip cookies and "Christmas milk" (commonly known as egg nog to you non-Gadow people).

4.  A generous sprinkling of reindeer food around the front lawn.  This is a gourmet concoction of oats and glitter! 

5.  Last call for the Joy Stocking!  Final chance to get your last additions into our Joy Stocking is now!  What's that, you ask?  Well, click here to read about our family's favorite Christmas tradition!

5.  Bedtime prayers and chat time.  Just like every night, here is where we pray together as a family, thank the Lord for His blessings, and talk about what the next day will bring.  Tonight though.....we add in the "don't wake up Mommy and Daddy until....7:30 AM" reminder.

6.  Once Matthew is on lock down the stocking is filled and the gifts are laid under the tree.  Aha!  But, 2 gifts are hidden somewhere in the house.  Matthew likes to hunt for his gifts.  We play either "hot/cold" or I give him a riddle that will clue him into where it is hidden.

7.  Time to put baby Jesus in the manger!  Yup, the King is Born and now He can be put into the manger scene with His folks and pet lamb and donkey.  The wise men have moved a little bit closer to the manger now.  They have made it all the way to the coffee table!  Only  1 1/2 more years to go until they meet up with Jesus.

8.  Oh, looky-look!  It's only midnight and I get to go to bed!  *sigh* and visions of sugarplums danced in her head.....

Where is your JOY?

Where is your joy?

Is it carved in the Rock where it will withstand the erosion of the world?




OR

Is it written in the sand where it can be washed away by the next storm?





Having joy is a choice.  Let's face it.  Life is hard.  This world is filled with disappointments and heartache.  People will hurt you, events will rock you, and there will always be a bubble popper waiting around the corner.  When faced with these challenges what do you do?  What determines your joy?  Is it your circumstances?  Do you have joy when things are going great?

How about when things are hard?

When you feel alone, lost, empty.

When you are jobless, homeless, scared, angry.

When nothing makes sense and you feel like noone understands your pain.

Where's your joy then?

 Do you treat your joy like a light that only shines when the energy from the world fuels it?  Is your joy like a meter that changes with your circumstances?  Is your joy so wavered that it can be snatched away for a meal like the hungry wolf takes the weakest animal to devour?

Or....is your joy planted with roots that go deeper than the soil of this earth?  Does it reach beyond the farthest star?  Does it overpower any challenge this life can throw at you?  Who or what is your joy?

My joy is in the Lord.

100%

Never changing

Always growing

Christmas has always been a contemplative time of year for me.  I've had to draw on my Savior even more at this time of year for the joy I so deeply desire.  If I were to rely on my circumstances for my joy, I wouldn't have any.  I don't know how your life is looking right now, but mine is stressful.  My husband is out of work, our finances are strained, I have family and friends who are hurting, I have 3 friends who have lost their child much too soon just within the past couple of months, and I'm dealing with people whose sole mission may be to rob me of my sanity and joy.  The list could go on.  None of it makes sense and all of it makes me want to crawl into a ball and wave my white flag.  Then, I look over near my Christmas tree and I see this...

A cheap 99 cent red felt stocking

and

an old, cheap plush ornament.


And my joy cries out!  My heart swells with adoration and excitement for the Lord that I love.

My tears flow with gratitude and humbleness for the promises of my Savior.

My arms lift high in praise and honor for the greatest gift of my salvation.

My voice sings out "My JOY is in the LORD!!!"

How can a cheap felt stocking and an old ornament do that to a person?  Let me tell you....

12 years ago my husband and I were preparing to share our first Christmas together.  I was 8 months pregnant and we were dirt poor.  We didn't have money for a tree, for gifts, or for a nice dinner to share.  I went to K-Mart and I bought these two things....1 felt stocking and 1 ornament.  Total....$2. 14.  I even had to scrounge in the couch and on the floor of my car to find that.  I proudly brought them home.  We didn't have a tree, but we had this random hook hanging from the ceiling in our living room.  So, we hung our ornament there.  Every time we passed under it we would kiss.  It was our special mistletoe.  We didn't have a mantle so we laid the stocking over the back of our old ragged couch.  We called it our Joy Stocking.  We decided to put little notes in that stocking over the weeks leading up to Christmas about the things we were joyful or thankful for.  Then, on Christmas morning we sat together on the living room floor and opened our stocking.  We read the notes to one another.  We were rich that morning and we were surrounded by our gifts as we spread our notes on the floor around us.

We had joy!

That is where our first family tradition started.  Now, every year, the Joy Stocking gets hung and we put our notes of joy and thanks into it and it is the first thing we do on Christmas morning.  Our prayer is that our son, Matthew, will continue this tradition and always remember that joy is NOT in our circumstances, but in our Lord.

Today, I choose joy.  Despite my circumstance.  I choose joy. 

I am thankful for my loving husband whose hands work unceasingly to provide for our family.

I am thankful for my son who inspires me each day to be a better person.

I am thankful for my loving friends and I am humbled by their unconditional generosity and acceptance of me.

But, most of all, I am thankful for God.  He will never abandon me (Hebrews 13.5).  I am thankful He sent His son to earth and sacrificed Him on the cross so that I would have the CHOICE to accept Him as my Savior....so that I can be forgiven even though I don't deserve it...and so I can have JOY that

exceeds my circumstances,

          never fails

                    renews my strength

                              gives me hope

                                        defines my purpose, and

                                   paints my most dreary days with beautiful colors.     

Noone and nothing can rob me of my JOY!  It's carved into the Rock (Psalm 18:2).

Want to borrow my chisel?    

Train Up a Child - Good Work Ethics

This week's question from the TOS Blog Cruise is an oldie, but goodie.  It also applies to all parents, not just home school parents.  How do you instill a moral work ethic in your children, discouraging shortcuts, and or cheating?  As Christian parents, my husband and I always turn to the Bible for direction in how to raise our son.  It's the only real "how to" book out there.  It has an answer for everything.

Ever since Matthew was little we have used the Bible to instruct him.  It is our desire for him to learn to turn to God's Word for his own guidance as he grows and journeys through life.  So, when he would disobey or misbehave we would sit him down and talk with him about it and show him in the Bible where God also does not approve of his behavior or choice.  The following methods became a discipline "staple" in our house and have proven to be very effective....

• Have him learn scriptures that pertained to whatever "infraction" he committed
• Have him write a short essay about his behavior and why it was wrong
• Have him write an apology letter to a person he may have sinned against
• Good old spankin'...amen!

So, why not start early?  Even as an infant I began telling Matthew about Jesus.  Who is He?  What is His character like?  Of course, that all to famous phrase WWJD?  It's over-used and over-marketed, but it's a question that should be in the forefront of our minds, both young and old.  As Matthew has gotten older we have been talking with him more about a strong work ethic and honesty.

We are all sinners and that includes our "perfect in our sight" angels we call our children.  They will lie, sneak the extra cookie, peek or be tempted to peek at the answer to a quiz, and from time to time they will try to take the shortcut out of a chore.  It is going to happen; accept it now.  It's the prevention of it happening (too often) or what we do when it happens that makes the difference.  As a parent, a common mistake is to think that you are the best role model for your child.  You are not.  I know, it's a shocker for some.  Jesus is the best role model.  After all, we sin; we are tempted; we struggle with weakness.  Yes, I can be an example and also a role model to my son on how to deal with life and its struggles.  But, only Jesus can show my son what true love and perfection can look like.  He needs to be my child's #1 role model.

Maybe I'm being naive to think the answer to the question this week is simple.  Keep pointing back to Jesus.  If I keep teaching my son about Jesus and pointing him to Him as his main role model, then a good work ethic will follow.  If Matthew is not honest in his work, in his words, or in his actions then there are consequences.  Look back at the top of this post for examples of our staple disciplines.  Matthew also loses privileges like media time as a consequence.  But, above all, we direct him back to the Bible where he can have his life's instruction book.  We ask him questions like "Do you want to be the man that can't be trusted?", "Do you want to be known as lazy?", "Do you want to earn a grade based on your ability and knowledge or based on how well you cheated?"  Matthew has become quite adept in looking inside himself and identifying the kind of boy he wants to be today and the man he wants to become.

I've found that the more we teach Matthew to self correct, seek guidance through the scriptures and allow him to make mistakes, the more I see him becoming the young man that God has intended for him to be.

God knows how to teach my son way better than I ever could, so I'll leave the hard stuff to Him.  I'll just point Matthew in the right direction and hope and pray that he will

Walk the Way

Believe the Truth

Live the Life

 

 If you are interested in what my fellow TOS Crew members have to say on this topic, then click HERE.